"Pizza"

For the last few weeks, every day there has been a woman that stands in the traffic median on U.S. One in front of a takeout/delivery pizza shop, with her arms outstretched, and holding a banner.  The banner says "Special...one topping medium pizza...$4.99...takeaway only."  One evening I disregarded my "life diet" and stopped in.  Two ladies were behind a bullet proof glass wall with a revolving, lockable change tray.  "May I help you?"..."Your banner worked...Ill have a medium pizza with chicken as the topping for the $4.99 special"..."The topping included for the special is cheese.  Other toppings are $2.00 extra so that will be $7.35"..."No, I just want to have the $4.99 "special".  So (sarcastically!) can I order pizza with tomato sauce and chicken?"..."We don't have chicken as a topping!"...(as I read that the pizzas are individually prepared with the finest of ingredients)..."You have a chicken fajita pizza on the menu, so where is the chicken for that?"..."The chicken fajita pizzas are pre-made!"... "Ah well, I guess I'll have the cheese pizza for $5.23!"

"Video Store"

So while waiting for the pizza to be made, i walked into the adjoining video store.  "Welcome to BBVideo...Can I help  you find  a particular title?"..."No thank you.  I'm just waiting for a pizza and haven't been in a video store for years.  What is the rental cost to check one out?"..."$1.00 per day, and we don't increase your costs after 5 days anymore."..."Wow, that's a good price.  Maybe I'll take one out for $1.06 then."  I searched thru some new releases and selected one and proceeded to the checkout.  "That will be $5.30"..."But the price is $1.00 per day, and I'm planning to return it tomorrow, so with tax for the one day rental it should be the $1.06."..."There is a five-day minimum checkout!"..."So why don't you say that it is $5.30 to rent a video?"..."Because it is only $1.00 per day with our "special"!"