"Headline News..."

One of my favorite weekly TV shows is Jay Leno's "Tonight Show" Monday night "Headlines"...Jay's presentation of outrageous newspaper cut-outs sent by viewers is very entertaining!  A debate is going on as to whether they are real or fake because in some instances they seem unbelievable!   But in our contemporary world, I often say that "unbelievable" should be removed from our vocabulary, because every unnerving,  absurd and illogical event usually is believable!  Indeed, "fact is crazier than fiction"...

 

Part of my daily morning routine has been to watch a few minutes of the news (the daily TV news headlines)...The following are a few of the recent news items...

 

A national run of funeral robbers have been reading the obituaries to see when families are at funeral services, so they can rob the homes of these family members. The news reporter suggested that last names not be included of the deceased or their families, or the times of the services be disclosed in the obituaries.

 

For those who still are finding it difficult to give up smoking, there are now "electronic" cigarettes on the market that can filter-reduce the amount of cancer-causing agents...and the smokers can run their extension chord behind them.

 

Our president concedes that times are financially difficult for the U.S. citizens. Meanwhile he, his wife, and daughters have decided to take a second trip to Tanzania, Africa for a vacation.  With the entourage of secret service agents, the trip is expected to cost the U.S. taxpayers $100,000,000.  They are being encouraged not to take a safari while there for another $50,000,000.

 

Approximately 15% of American companies allow one to five days paternity leave for fathers!  Germany allows 51 weeks and Sweden allows 62 weeks paternity leave.

 

The largest American air carrier with one of the lowest customer satisfaction ratings has just announced that they are going to reduce the size and leg room of seats again, even though most can passengers already have a difficult time squeezing into the current seats. 

 

With the increased fear of terrorism on planes the Transportation Securities Administration (TSA) had announced that they would their screening would allow passengers to carry knives in their carry-ons (this decision may be reversed!).

Florida's governor has just enacted a state law that requires recipients of welfare checks to pay (they are reimbursed if they are drug-free) for and take a drug test to be approved for welfare.  There is a movement to declare this unconstitutional.

 

This blog will be continued...

 

 

"Back To The Dealer..."

After no success with the brake light bulb replacement at the auto "service "center, and since I needed to have a clip replaced on my center storage console, I scheduled an appointment  at the local Hyundai dealer service center.  I arrived Monday morning at 9:20, and what a difference from the shop where I had the tires aligned...one young man directed me into an arrival line and welcomed me.  One came over to get the keys and put protective floor coverings in the car. And one told me to take a seat to wait for the service manager.  By phone number, she had my appointment.  I related the story about the five service techs attempting to change the bulb and she stated that I could expect up to an hour labor time to change it. "That totally makes sense that it would be difficult to undergo a routine service item like that!" I had checked Parts before scheduling the appointment and they had it for the manager.  She said the clip was also slightly tricky to install too...I added " the last two times that I replaced them they were done by your shop in 15 minutes!"  She continued that it would be $100 to switch the bulb, and $65 to replace the clip (that I had previously purchased for $18 from Parts)..."That will be $165 plus 6% tax"..."You have got to be kidding?  And I bet the checkout still adds a 10% clean-up fee...$192.39 to replace a brake bulb and a console clip?  Every time I come to this dealership I get "highway robbed"!"..."We do impose the clean up surcharge, BUT we are not really trying to rob you!  Let me call me manager." ...After a few minute conversation and some number crunching on her computer..."We can do both for $77, total!"..."Go for it...I'll be in the waiting area for the 1.5 hours promised to finish the work..."

 

The waiting area was very comfortable with separate partitioned work areas with desks and some with computer stations, coffee, TV, and clean restrooms.  I caught up on my periodicals reading and work calls.

 

I received a tap on my shoulder at exactly 1.5 hours after arriving..."Your car is ready.  I need to mention something..."..."Oh no....don't tell me I have to replace the engine?!?"..."No...but the service technician related that the consoles in these vehicles were incorrectly designed, these aren't under warranty, and as such you can expect that you will be back with another broken clip soon!"..."And why wasn't I informed of this before the work was done, and don't tell me, it will only cost me about $500 to replace this console?!?..."..."Maybe more!!!..."" I KNEW I should have sold the car!!!  I think I'll wait !!!:

 

I paid the  $77 and walked to the car that also had been washed to return...Off to the 25 meter pool for my 100 de-stress laps...

"The Only Thing You Can (Temporarily) Count On Is Hummus"

I'm back (I hope!)!  It's been too long since I've written, and there is soooo much "material"!  Jay Leno can't retire...and Jerry Seinfeld should start a show again...our daily lives are "out of control" with potential stand-up comedy material!

 

As I was recounting some of the absurdities of this Monday, a good friend suggested this entry's title..."The Only Thing You Can (Temporarily) Count On Is Hummus"... I enjoy a serving of the Roasted Pine Nut variety a few times a day as part of my post cancer increased vegetarian-based diet!  I purchase the large container size at my bi-weekly shopping visit to one of our "big box" discount (no service) warehouse chains.  Each time I "get out" with the applied yellow marker on my viewed receipt and shopping cart, I quirk to the "exit guard", "They're letting me  out of the big house (jail!)!

 

Per routine, I awoke this morning, meditated about the blessings of each family tree (consecutive from my grandparents) member and friends, and gave thanks for another day of live.  Then I jumped out of bed, and refined my "to do" list for the day... I read the paper while watching "Today", shaving, and preparing my oatmeal with chia seeds, blueberries, strawberries, cranberries, banana, three egg whites, fiber, "Jusuru" and generic fiber, while checking the e-mails received after midnight, checking in with Mom  and my "contract" employees by phone,  and showering and dressing...

 

First stop: drop the car to have the tires balanced and aligned while I jog to the gym for a light leg and cardio workout.  Note: I had pre-called for a car appointment a few days before (this took 40 minutes with three hang-ups, store computer issues (including not being able to locate my records); and a few "holds")...Monday at 10 AM..."Can you complete my "paperwork" so I don't need to wait 30 minutes when I drop the car?"..."No...it's a store policy...we need to complete your paperwork when you deliver the car to check the mileage".  When I showed up I waited 15 minutes with no one in line as the two service reps were on the phone.  One put his call on hold and asked how he could help...I responded that I had scheduled an appointment for checking the tire balance and alignment for the tires I had purchased about six weeks ago, because at highway speeds the car shook and swerved to the right. First he couldn't find my appointment, then by both of my phone numbers he couldn't find that I had been in the last three years (even though I had been to have my tires replaced twice in the last three years!  The short tire life that I had experienced was explained to be caused by poor alignment.  Of course they were supposed to have corrected that each visit!).  Finally he found my records and checked me in.  During the last visit I was told that the brake light bulb on the rear window ledge was out, so I asked the cost to replace it.  Told $16, I asked him to do that task also.  He said that I should be done in an hour, so I left for the gym (after a 35 minute check-in after my phone check-in!)

After two hours I returned to notice that my car was still in the shop with the doors open.  I looked out and saw 4 employees  and a manager climbing in and out, and noticed that the rear split seats and ledge had been taken apart and that there was a lot of discussion occurring.  I went to open the door to the shop and was told that I couldn't do that by another manager.  I said that his employees seemed to be confused and asked if they had any idea what they were doing?!?  He responded that of course but that changing the bulb seemed to be more difficult than they had initially thought!  I reflected on an old joke..."How many _____ does it take to change a light bulb?"  I stared through the glass for another 15 minutes and told them to STOP and to try to put the seats back together and that I had just missed a meeting at 1:30 and had to go!  15 minutes later they were done (perhaps!) and I was told that the tires had been balanced and aligned and that it would take 10 minutes to complete the "no-charge" receipt!!!  I asked that he show in my records that they had TRIED to change the bulb in case the seats had been broken!  Then it started to POUR!!!  I ran to the car and noticed grease stains over the fabric roof and seats.  I called the store and after two dial-arounds and hang ups I got the manager and related my experience...he said, "I don't understand what I expect him to do about my experience..."...I can hardly wait for the e-mail follow-up..."please take our customer satisfaction survey!!!"

On the way home for a late lunch, I stopped at the printer to pick up a check set of CAD drawings for an architectural project...I told the printer not to print multiple sets, because most likely there would be mistakes (even though they had been corrected by me multiple times!)!!!  I opened them and the first five things that I checked on the first page were wrong, so my lunch would once again be "red-lining" to give to my contract employee for hourly billed additional corrections!!!

The next stop was a department store to return dress shoes that had been purchased a few days before, and I handed the receipt to the salesman..."I am returning these because after one wearing to church they seem to look nearly as bad as the five-year old " discontinued "pair that I had purchased there and I am wearing today!"...The salesman responded "you get what you pay for! That's what you get for buying a discount brand" ...I said (in disbelief of what I had heard)..."No I don't get what I paid for!  Just because I purchased these at a 50% off sale, you will notice that they are now on your shelf priced at $120 and are one of your most expensive pairs of shoes today, and one to two wearings is not a bargain!  It is the same with nearly all of the merchandise these days!  When my four-year old leather belt wore out, I had replaced it in your store, twice in one year...after a few months to leather (or whatever it is!!!) scuffs or tears and the belt cannot be worn!  Nothing is sold here now that is as good as what had been sold years before!"..."Well before I refund your money, maybe I can help your find another pair of shoes to try!!!"..."No thanks...I have looked at all of the shoes and the ones I am returning have the best design and were what I had paid for!  I'll probably just take the old ones to a shoe-maker to have them reconditioned!"

"I stopped for, and pumped gas...the first pump was empty...at the end of filling with the credit card at the second one..."See clerk for receipt!!!".

And then it was time to return to work, and that's another blog entry that can only be written in my post-80 year old retirement years...